I’m Back!!!

Hey guys! So I’ve been MIA for awhile now (tell us something new Nida), and I do apologize. But remember when I told y’all I was going through some health problems and I might need to get radiation done? Well, instead of radiation, I had surgery (about two months ago now), so I’ve just been at home recovering since then! And as I’ve been recovering, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting as well (again, tell us something new Nids!!), and it’s come to my attention that I’m lacking something very important in my life (which I never thought was suuuuper important before): Muslim friends. Let me rephrase that actually: Muslim friends that think similarly to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I have always been blessed in the friends department (Alhumdolilah). I was never one to have a huge group of friends, but rather a small tight-knit group (which I prefer anyway). Now I do have Muslim friends, but ever since I found myself changing and wanting to get closer to Allah (SWT), I’ve felt a little alone. I’ve tried to discuss Islam with my Muslim friends (not much I admit), but mostly because I feel that I’m seen as some sort of haram police or a person filled with judgment.

I don’t know why, but within the Muslim South Asian community at least, if you are someone who wants to take a step forward in your religion, you tend to get out casted. I guess people feel guilty about their own level of spirituality when they see someone trying to be more religious, so they begin to demean the religious person’s actions or thinking. This can be done in a number of ways: telling others (or just thinking to themselves) how that person is full of airs and trying to look better than the rest of us; think that the religious acts the person engages in aren’t that important anyway; feel that the person should work on their personality first because that’s more important (which is what the one thinking all of this is telling themselves what they’re doing); etc. etc.

I’m not saying everybody does this, but quite a few do. I’ve had a few instances where talking about Islam with a Muslim friend has made them feel uncomfortable, which then makes me feel awkward, and I stop talking about it. I remember forcing myself to joke about things I didn’t really care to talk about, but knowing the other person did, I made an effort to do so. I’ve talked about religion to a number of my Christian friends as well, and I gotta say, that goes a looooooot more smoothly. And these conversations with my friends from different religions have kept that feeling of loneliness at bay. But recently, I guess because I’m stuck at home and I haven’t really talked to any of my friends at all, I really wish I had a similarly spiritual Muslim friend to talk to.

I’ll admit, the only thing that truly gets me through my disorder is my faith. Whenever I have a dip in Imaan, this dip also affects my confidence and hope. I don’t want anyone to pity me, but honestly, having a disorder that affects your hearing, your sight, your balance (basically everything), takes a toll on you both physically and mentally. So when this disorder starts to affect my Imaan, I would love to have a strong Muslim friend to support me through those times. I think I’m a pretty independent person, but everyone needs strong relationships and bonds with others. And since I’m not getting married any time soon (lawls), a friend is basically the next best thing.

Now I love all of my friends, I really do, and I’m in no way saying that they’re bad or unkind (the complete opposite is true in fact). Sometimes I just wish I had a Muslim friend like me, y’know? No harm, no foul. I think I might end this entry here, because then I’ll just keep rambling on, and also it’s hard to see what I’m typing (so apologies for the typos and grammatical errors in advance! I tried, I tried). I think my next entry might be another 3-part series, detailing emotions, procedure and a tell-all tale of someone going through surgery! Keep me in your prayers my friends, and of course you all shall be in mine.

Anyway, until next time my fellow readers, bloggers, and internet trolls alike, I bid you farewell, and wish you the best for today, tomorrow, and for all your days ahead.

XO

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