How do you help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves? Someone who is so desperately in need of help, but unless they take the first step, you can’t really do anything for them?
I live with a family member who suffers from multiple mental illnesses. And by multiple, I mean the unfortunate reality of co-morbidity in people with medical conditions. What started off as depression, quickly turned into an uncontrollable rage, which (in my opinion) can only be helped through some sort of anger management therapy.
I absolutely love this family member of mine. And at one point in our lives, we were reaalllllly close. We would play video games together, watch the same TV shows, listen to the same music – you get the point, we had a lot in common. But once this anger seeped in, watching TV became throwing the TV onto the ground and smashing it into pieces. Listening to music became blasting music in hopes of tuning everything (both external and internal) out.
Countless attempts at talking and consoling became futile because eventually, each conversation would always end up in an argument. Playful conversations would become a battle of the wits where you were demeaned and shown as an inferior being that never cared for anyone or anything in your life. Your values, beliefs, and morals were constantly questioned, and anything you tried never seemed to work.
I’ve gone through so much research on this topic, and I myself am a psychology graduate, so I do have some sort of understanding on mental illnesses. But most of this research was geared towards people who isolated themselves by being quiet, and shut everyone out by not wanting to be around anyone.
This family member of mine is the complete opposite. Yes, they isolate themselves and shut everyone out – but not in the ways the textbooks described. This person is angry all the time. Constantly punching walls, slamming and breaking doors, insulting and yelling at everyone, etc.
My question is (sorry it took me so long to get here): how do you help someone of this nature? And how do you keep yourself calm and patient when situations of this kind occur? Therapy and medication also have proven not to work because this person doesn’t partake in any of those options, and you cannot force someone to do something they just don’t want to do.
I truly believe love is the answer to everything, but how do you keep that love when this person constantly brings you down? Some might argue to just forget about them, and that they’re the ones who are missing out. But it’s quite impossible for my family or me to just give up on this person. We want them to get better. We want them to know that we will always love them and we will always be there for them. And above all else, we are on their side! We are not against them – never have, never will be.
If anyone has gone (or is in) a similar situation, please comment below and share what you did during this time! How did you manage the situation, and even if you haven’t been in a similar situation, I’d love to know: what are your thoughts on this matter?
Until next time my fellow readers, bloggers, and internet trolls alike, I bid you farewell, and wish you the best for today, tomorrow, and for all your days ahead.